# Making Self-Care Tactical — Why You Should Focus on Boundaries, Not Just Bubble Baths Therapist Jessmina Archbold (publicly known as Minaa B.) shares her detailed guide to deeper self-care work, pushing back against common myths, offering up tactical advice and making the case for focusing on boundaries. ## Outline 1. [DIMENSIONS AND TIERS — HOW TO TAKE ON THE DEEPER WORK AND REFRAME THE “WHAT IS SELF-CARE?” QUESTION](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#dimensions-and-tiers-%E2%80%94-how-to-take-on-the-deeper-work-and-reframe-the-%E2%80%9Cwhat-is-self-care%E2%80%9D-question) 1. [Dive deeper by diagnosing where you’re depleted.](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#dive-deeper-by-diagnosing-where-you%E2%80%99re-depleted) 2. [Take inventory of your self-care toolset.](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#take-inventory-of-your-self-care-toolset) 2. [THE CASE FOR PUTTING BOUNDARIES AT THE CENTER OF SELF-CARE](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#the-case-for-putting-boundaries-at-the-center-of-self-care) 1. [Measure capacity.](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#measure-capacity) 2. [Enforce guardrails.](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#enforce-guardrails) 3. [Right-size responsibility.](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#right-size-responsibility) 4. [Take back power in the face of trauma.](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#take-back-power-in-the-face-of-trauma) 3. [FIND YOUR TYPE AND DRAW YOUR LINES — TOOLS FOR CONSTRUCTING BOUNDARIES](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#find-your-type-and-draw-your-lines-%E2%80%94-tools-for-constructing-boundaries) 1. [Pattern match by studying these archetypes and taking this “quiz.”](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#pattern-match-by-studying-these-archetypes-and-taking-this-%E2%80%9Cquiz%E2%80%9D) 2. [Draw new lines in the sand with this advice.](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#draw-new-lines-in-the-sand-with-this-advice) 3. [Boundaries with others:](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#boundaries-with-others) 4. [Boundaries with ourselves:](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#boundaries-with-ourselves) 5. [Boundaries as a manager:](https://review.firstround.com/making-self-care-tactical-why-you-should-focus-on-boundaries-not-just-bubble-baths/#boundaries-as-a-manager) Self-care is a topic that we’ve danced around for awhile here on The Review. Self-care often stays in shallow waters and recirculates commonly-heard tips. Luckily, we got connected with an expert who grabbed our attention. “By recycling the same advice, many people don’t recognize that they're creating a box and saying, ‘This is what self-care looks like.’ And that plays a role in why some people feel stuck,” says **[Jessmina Archbold](https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessminaarchbold/?ref=review.firstround.com)**, a licensed psychotherapist, wellness coach and mental health advocate who is publicly known as [Minaa B](https://www.minaab.com/?ref=review.firstround.com) **.** To probe more deeply, Archbold makes the case for why boundary work is at the heart of self-care, sharing archetypes for recognizing common patterns and advice on drawing lines — both with others and yourself. ## DIMENSIONS AND TIERS — HOW TO TAKE ON THE DEEPER WORK AND REFRAME THE “WHAT IS SELF-CARE?” QUESTION Archbold points to another problem spot in how self-care is often misconstrued. “It’s a huge misconception. Self-care is deeper work.” ### Dive deeper by diagnosing where you’re depleted. Archbold breaks down self-care into five different dimensions: - **Physical:** About your overall health. - **Social:** Community building and connection. - **Emotional:** Cues to practice emotional self-care. - **Spiritual:** Meditation, affirmations, and more. - **Intellectual:** Investing in work through education and personal development. ### Take inventory of your self-care toolset. “Pinpointing how you’re feeling isn’t enough — you need to assess how you can better cope,” says Archbold. Below is an overview of a **self-care inventory**: - **Tier 1: Immediately accessible.** Mindfulness go-tos like deep breathing. - **Tier 2: Financial investments.** Requires more resources, such as therapy. - **Tier 3: Time and energy.** Long-term intentional work. ## THE CASE FOR PUTTING BOUNDARIES AT THE CENTER OF SELF-CARE “Setting up boundaries is self-care work. Full stop.” ### Measure capacity. “When we lack boundaries, we take on things we don’t have capacity for.” ### Enforce guardrails. “Boundaries teach others how they’re allowed to treat you.” ### Right-size responsibility. “Healthy boundaries give us the ability to understand what we are and are not responsible for.” ### Take back power in the face of trauma. “Self-care is about consistently pouring back into myself.” ## FIND YOUR TYPE AND DRAW YOUR LINES — TOOLS FOR CONSTRUCTING BOUNDARIES ### Pattern match by studying these archetypes and taking this “quiz.” - **The compliant.** Says yes to everything. - **The avoidant.** Says no to good opportunities. - **The controller.** Wants to control everything. - **The non-responsive.** Ignores others’ needs. ### Draw new lines in the sand with this advice. **Boundaries with others:** “Assess the negative emotion that is consistently coming to the surface.” **Boundaries with ourselves:** “Holding yourself accountable is essential.” **Boundaries as a manager:** “Create space for others to take care of themselves.”