On Receiving (and Truly Hearing) Radical Candor

Candor Inc. co-founders Kim Scott and Russ Laraway have both written and spoken often on how to give radical candor to colleagues. Here they turn the tables and focus on how to receive it.

YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR CRITICISM

Especially if you’re a leader, you can’t expect other people to be proactive about giving you feedback. They’re busy. They don’t want to offend. They don’t want to get on your bad side. And even if you’re an individual contributor, you might be starved for guidance. Your manager might be afraid to hurt morale, or has nothing top of mind, or doesn’t prioritize it. It’s up to you to get the information you need.

Asking for criticism can manifest itself in different ways — either indirectly or directly. The best tack is to do both.

Asking Indirectly for Feedback

It’s possible to foster an atmosphere where criticism is rebranded as a gift you give or a service you do for someone else, says Scott.

One of the best ways to ask for criticism is to share the criticism you've already received.

At Google, Scott used to ask her reports who criticized her privately to restate their thoughts in public meetings. Laraway in particular was very good at this, bringing a certain theatricality to the proceedings that really commanded attention.

Asking Directly for Feedback

“On one of my past teams, there was a woman who kept getting passed over for promotions. She knew it but didn’t know why,” says Laraway. To make sure this doesn’t happen to you and the people you work with, develop what Laraway calls a “Go To Question.” Your Go To Question is designed to get at what’s happening in a way that’s easier because it’s non-confrontational, inquisitive, and reframes what people say as a positive.

EMBRACE THE DISCOMFORT

Borrowed from Intel CEO Andy Grove, “Embrace the discomfort” is a vital mantra for anyone who wants Radical Candor from their colleagues.

“There’s a false assumption that making people comfortable will make it easier for them to criticize you, but that’s not the case,” says Scott. Embrace the fact that you need their thoughts to get better at your job, and don’t let awkwardness get in the way.

ALWAYS REWARD THE CANDOR

You have to treat everyone who does like gold, always — but those first couple are important to reward in particular. They’re capable of turning the tide in favor of feedback.

Receiving Feedback
Never ever criticize the criticism. Just say thank you. "You have to listen with the intent to understand,” says Scott. Don’t interrupt.

GIVE AS GOOD AS YOU WANT TO GET

Receiving helpful Radical Candor will only happen if you give it too. As a leader, it’s your responsibility to set the tone for this by delivering effective feedback yourself.

RELY ON RITUALS

Small rituals split the difference between nothing and elaborate systems and process. The key is to make these rituals lightweight enough that they don’t take up any significant time, make sure they recur regularly, and make them gimmicky (or quirky, or memorable, whatever you prefer).
"Don’t create more process. Create rituals that fit seamlessly into what you already do every day," says Scott.